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Chinky juz had her eye operation on Friday and is recovering slowly but surely,I'm certain.

Spending most of my time at home and spending minimal time outside of house, whether it's to meet frens or to my grandma's place,i'm minimising the time i'm spending away from her juz so that i hope my presence can help her ease that lil bit of pain, of coz not physically but at least i'm there for her emotionally.

Which is the reason why i'm opting to travel to and fro from sch next week. Thankfully,its the first week where there are no tuts or labs. However, there will be the mad rush for textbooks buying which i believe won't be as bad as last sem's, becoz there's essentially only 4 mods and i've borrowed the text for TCM, which leaves me with 3 more to go. And if the management mod dun require text, that boils down to 2!And tis 2..if need be, i can always ask my reliable frens to get it for me!!=) But wells, i doubt i'll get them to buy..since i only have like super short days on thurs and fri with 1 hr lect each day. *shld i even go?*Definitely!!I need to have a gd start to sch else i'll NEVER attend them in the following weeks which is no-no!!

Anywae, i was super worried bout Chinky when i send her to the vet. Left her there, thankfully only for that mere 2-3 hrs..Got the nurse to call me once she wakes up so i can arrange for her transport home. I din wanna leave her there too long, thus i brought her b4 the clinic closes and once she wakes up, at least i'm there to assure her..
Her eyes were swollen and she was tearing when i brought her home. I'm sure my girl is in deep pain. But i can't do much to help, only to stay by her side and pat her to bed. My body warmth and my pats were much i could offer. And of coz, i got terribly afraid when she tried to change her sleeping position by walking to another side and she somehow lost control of her hind legs and fell,hurting her operated eye and letting out a scream.
She was in pain, very much pain. And all i could do was to hug her and assure her with my voice that everything would be alrite.
That afternoon, she slept with me on the mattress. We shared it. She taking 3/4 of it, leaving me with 1/4, where most of my body was on the ground with my arms in total awkward position as she slept on one side of my arm. But it's ok, becoz all i wanted was for her to get a gd rest.

That nite,i exchanged beds with my youngest sis juz so i could get lower and closer to her. I woke up every few hrs to make sure she was asleep and that her busker was in place. I din wanna risk any chance for infection which could only worsen her pain and agony. I noe she din sleep well, neither did i. But it's ok.

When i went out tis afternoon with WYY (*Wen,Ying,Yu), i worried for her. Though i noe she's in safe hands with my family but i juz can't help it. I noe they'll call me if there's anything amiss, and thankfully she was alrite when i returned. I noe i'll nv be able to carry on my life normally without her. And i often wonder wat will become of me when she's no longer ard..

I've got plans for myself after she's gone. But i dunno if i'll have the courage to fulfil them or whether things will even go my way.
I told myself, I'll teach once i grad so i can use my salary and save it up for further studies in Australia. To study something which i really want to, Veterinarian studies. I've planned it such that, when my bond ends, i'd save enough and prob by then Chinky may no longer be ard. If she is, that'll be fantastic. But if she isn't, i'll brave myself up and leave S'pore to study. I'll return being a vet or maybe open a pet shop or juz a dog shelter. Watever it is, i'll continue my passion. And in animals, or i shld say dogs in particular, that's where my passion lies.
As you can see, i din leave any room for a partner. Becoz i noe or i really hope my partner would be one who would share the same passion as me and therefore support me in this path that i would love to take. But in any case, it would not be easy to find such a partner, thus i thot it'll be wise to pursue my passion instead of getting involved in a relationship. Afterall, Man may fail me, but dogs won't.
Thus,instead of having a possibility of having a r/s which may or may not work and i having to forgo my passion, making myself unhappy on both sides. Why don't i pursue one side which i'm certain would make me happy and forgo the other side,which have a possibility of failing me?
It's like minimising the loss, if u get wat i mean..

If only you knew at 12:33 AM